Story 17. Written by Jim Waitlord

Okay, so, we, the guys writing this page, are two geniuses from Eastern Europe. We were born like, 10 days apart. One of us popped out on 11/19/1966, and the other on 11/29/1966. The dude born on the 19th? He lives at number 29. And get this, the other one? He lives at number 49! Yeah, both numbers are prime, how crazy is that?! And both our birthdays are prime numbers too! Like, we’re totally first-class stuff.

We've never worked a day in our lives, we've always been good with just a little bit of stuff. Now, to have more adventures and keep this page going, we need some cash, ya know, for security. So, if you're curious to see what we come up with or where this whole thing is headed, we could use your help. Toss us a few bucks, whatever you think is fair or whatever you can spare, and you can come down the rabbit hole with us!

After a bit, this whole thing could turn into a daily diary thing, with both of us writing side-by-side, from our own perspectives. You'll see how this page grows week after week, like a living organism, and all the cool stuff it’ll do.

Like, for example, a DNA search thingy. You don’t know what that is yet, but if you keep reading, you'll figure it out soon enough.

Our philosophy of life, yeah, here it is: there are rules in this world, like gravity, and those basic interactions between stuff, but there are also rules that are, like, totally beyond human understanding. For instance, what people expect or plan for, that’s like, for sure not gonna happen the way they expect it, or the exact opposite will happen.

Those who don't plan are way more successful, or happier, because they don’t get disappointed. People set the bar too high, they knock it over, but even if it’s lower, they still fail. That’s where unhappiness comes from. So, like, the poor in spirit are the happy ones.

Eventually, we’re gonna do some crazy things in real life, like how to become the Pope, how to be a billionaire, or how to win a Nobel Prize, for example. Or even, how to live forever. Not necessarily in this physical body, cuz you can upload your consciousness to a quantum computer and experience way more dimensions of reality. It’s the ultimate freedom of existence.

There was this poor dude, he couldn't even make a promise. Once in the hospital, in the psych ward, two guys always sat together and ate dinner. They'd share and try each other's food. It was better than the hospital food. So, I joined them once, and brought my food too. Mine wasn't as good as theirs, but we shared, and it was great.

I told them, "Your family will come visit, and they'll bring fried chicken!" The next day I sat with them again, and they were like, "Where's the fried chicken and all the stuff, dessert?" I told them they did bring it, but I threw it away, cuz it was probably poisoned. They were like, “Oh yeah, sure”. After that, we never had separate dinners.

There are about 200 countries in the world, let's make it a two-polar thing. One half joins the USA as states, and the other joins China. Then they can compete with each other, but just through sports, and we'll see who's better. The sport can be life or death, like with the Mayans.

It's a waste of money to spend on space travel in this day and age. Quantum computers will teleport us anywhere in the universe. Don't look for livable planets, look for moons, and put the money into developing quantum computers instead.

Our Philosophy of Life