Story 54. Written by Jim Waitlord

Jesus enters Jerusalem amidst great hosannas, along with his followers. His first act is to enter the temple, where, to his great surprise, a huge business is going on, everyone is looking out for number one. People sit behind tables, so-called banks, with all sorts of money on the tables. These people, you see, make their living by exchanging money. Obviously not for free, but for interest. He is outraged, and a great anger rises within him, that in the sanctuary erected in honor of his Father, vile business activity is taking place.

This unholy rage manifests in action. He thinks this wouldn't please his Father, who, although he created man in his own image, is certainly not a huckster, or, as Einstein later said, he cannot be a gambler. He overturns the banks. Then he storms out of the temple.

The bankers inside the temple stare in astonishment at the destruction. Now, let's think about it, is this act, this crime, this vandalism, worthy of the Son of God? they say. Is he the Son of God, who cannot keep his composure in every situation? Didn't he teach to turn the other cheek? And that you can achieve more with kind words than with force? And that a camel goes through the eye of a needle more easily? So how does he want to sit at his Father's right hand? Obviously, anger robs him of his sound judgment.

Anyway, the people there gather the scattered money, restore the banks, and voice their justified outrage. What does this supposed Son of God think he's doing? What the hell does he think he's doing? Who is he? Should we starve, exchange money for free, not charge interest? It's true that according to his religion, people will have to give him a tithe, is that better? Like hell! They conspire, they come up with a plan. They say: if he calms down later, we'll find him and tell him, we'll give you, sir, a bank here in the temple, there will be no rent, do it, show us, if you are the Son of God and this is your Lord's will, then work for free!! You've had it good so far because the women supported you! Fulfill your Father's expectations! Your ass will be hanging out of your pants!

Now, let's analyze this game from the perspective of two thousand years! Jesus did everything right, all the way, almost all the way, he kept his composure. He gained followers, he said simple things that anyone, even the most stupid, could easily understand. About love, about happiness, about truth. Things that were obvious to him. So much so that he almost couldn't imagine that Homo sapiens is so stupid, envious, greedy, stingy, etc., that even in their own interest, they won't grasp, understand, or accept these things. He showed how worthless, short, and meaningless the material world is, this was the knowledge he wanted to pass on to people. But they, although they nodded and accepted his gifts, just laughed at him behind his back and considered him a complete fool. He suspected this, that's why he remained calm all the way and kept banging his head against the wall.

When can a person win a game? Who wins? The nervous person loses, loses concentration, becomes inattentive, does such thoughtless things that condemn them to failure. This is what happened to Jesus. He lost his patience. Maybe I would have lost it much sooner. Then he arrived in the city, many hosanna-ed, but not out of conviction, only in the hope of alms. However, the majority, as he entered the temple, saw that he was chasing money because he expected happiness from the material world, no one actually believed in Jesus, in him. They can't comprehend that the best things in the world are free. They hoard, they accumulate surpluses, even if they do it at the expense of their fellow human beings. This is when he lost the game, and this led to his death on the cross. He lost his patience, he overturned the banks. And the nervous person loses. They jumped at his throat like rabid dogs.

For two thousand years, people's understanding has not changed a bit. In fact, they lie that Jesus died for our sins, but he didn't die for our sins, people killed him so that they could sin without remorse. So, when he overturned the banks, he lost the game. Looking back, if he could do it again, he almost certainly wouldn't make this mistake. There could certainly have been a different outcome. As he said, but didn't adhere to, turn the other cheek! That is, with great patience, without violence, he should have continued to preach the word. It wouldn't have led to murder, and only a better outcome would have resulted from that. True, it wouldn't have been such a big story, and it wouldn't have stirred people's souls and faith so much. Even if it was so brutally distorted, falsified, and written for their own benefit.

They find Peter and tell him to pass on the message, they even give the Son of God starting capital, 30 pieces of silver. They give him the money. Peter, disbelieving, rather betrays him, blames Judas for the betrayal, pockets the money, and establishes a church in Christ's name, but in reality, according to the opposite philosophy. This is how the papacy, the religion of the Antichrist, comes into being. Think about it, celibacy, the complete oppression of women and condemning them to be nuns, the Inquisition, genocide, saving Hitler, and so on. Even in modern times, they support the persecution-manic mini but still murderous and damn dangerous dictator. Practically every act of the papacy, one could list them, that it has done over two thousand years, is proof that it is nothing but the earthly manifestation of evil, the true Antichrist. Obviously, when Jesus said that whoever reaches for the bread first or at the same time as him, he meant that he knew Peter would be the traitor and wanted to communicate this, and that Judas would be the scapegoat. Only Peter successfully concealed this, and after they killed Jesus, there was no one who could prove Judas' innocence, and so he hanged himself. Obviously, it's a lie that the 30 pieces of silver were with him, Peter had long since swiped them. Now they're guarding it in the Vatican, and they're damn proud that this little trick worked. They even commissioned Leonardo da Vinci to make them a fake Shroud of Turin. Obviously, there was no Shroud of Turin.

Then two thousand years pass, and the time of Jesus' second coming arrives. That is, in modern times. Jesus is now past infancy. The successors of the money changers, today's bankers, have been eagerly awaiting the time to finally implement their forefathers' plan. They find Jesus again, through a credible, trustworthy envoy, the Two, who won't steal the money and won't betray him. However, they only give him 9 pieces of silver, and they say: we are in the modern age. Tell the Son of God, we've been waiting for this for two thousand years, so we can see him go bankrupt and us be right, to make a bank. On the internet or wherever he wants, and there should be no interest, no account management fees, nothing for the people.

Through the mediation of the Two, Jesus accepts the challenge. The Two sells the 9 pieces of silver, buys a domain named Jesus' Bank, and embarks on the venture. He believes in himself and in the Father, and he knows that the true believers, not the slaves of the Antichrist, the Catholic sectarians, will help him in his work, so that he can finally redeem the world through this bank, abolish suffering, and sober them up from the sect's machinations, that he is taking the blame for the world, for the sins of the people. Since he already died for them on the cross. So that people can bank completely for free, just as you asked of us! You humiliated us, but let's see what you can do. If you are really the Son of God and you could turn water into wine, then perform a smaller miracle than that! That is, make this bank viable and operational, your Father will surely take pleasure in it, don't whine, "My Father, why have you forsaken me?" Now he will surely help you, and you won't starve to death because you will earn with the free bank! Man is such that he repays good with good!

Then, when it comes to the practical implementation, with the money, the Two first buys a domain with the title worldcountryimage.com, where they announce a photo contest from every country, where 100 pictures can be uploaded, but only one can be the winner, which is the most characteristic of the given country and also the funniest. This site will also award prizes.

Then they try to buy the Jesus' Bank domain, but since even the similar ones have already been sold, but no real work is being done on them, and they aren't even selling them for more, they become indecisive. They sleep on it, and the next day they find the ideal name. They both know, this is it! The secondcomingbank.com. They buy it. They are in great euphoria, they did it.

Then the site where you can buy, Hostinger, changes its mind and suspends the purchase. Then they write an email saying that it's not for sale, although they can't give a reasonable explanation for it. They only write that they will refund the money within 7-15 days. They also send a message: "Go out to the beach, son, and fuck that marble statue of a naked, reclining, sunbathing woman!!!"

To this, Jesus mutters to himself: "Oh Lord, now I'm starting to understand why you forsook me!!"

Jesus' Bank