Story 55. Written by Jim Waitlord

The couple's only child is getting married. She's marrying a very handsome, humorous man, a bit spoiled and his mother's favorite, who is also a good dancer. During the reception, the mother-in-law takes a liking to the young groom and pulls him aside for a dance. She spills a bit of wine on the bride's dress, and while everyone is focused on whether the stain can be removed, she calls the new husband into a room upstairs and tells him that, unfortunately, he must exercise the right of the first night, and the rule of "screw the mother, take the daughter" is also in effect in this family. The young groom can't, doesn't dare to object, because it's better to be on good terms with his mother-in-law, isn't it?

Later, the husband fulfills his manly duties as well, it is, after all, their wedding night. As fate would have it, both women become pregnant. The girl's father knows what's going on because he hasn't touched his wife in months, at most only with a stick. They can't have an abortion, nor do they want to, as their Catholic faith doesn't allow it. How would they get into heaven if they went against God's laws? Of course, marital infidelity isn't exactly a forgivable sin, but they think maybe it's not that big of an obstacle. However, they hide the pregnancy, saying the mother is just eating a lot, that's why she's gaining weight. They don't want to bring shame upon themselves, having a child at fifty-something, and they figure the truth would come out anyway, that it's not from the father, because his manhood was taken by shrapnel in the war.

So, when a baby boy is born, secretly, not in a maternity hospital but with the help of a midwife, they take him to an orphanage and leave him on the doorstep. They calmly go home, the midwife wasn't expensive either, she was paid off with the price of half a cow. All problems were solved. Three weeks later, their daughter's son is also born, but a few weeks later he dies of sudden infant death syndrome. The young couple says, "Let's not disappoint our relatives and acquaintances, let's keep it a secret, take a child from the orphanage and say it's ours." The young bride says, "Your aunt is the director of the orphanage, talk to her, didn't they bring in another baby boy around the time ours was born?" The young groom does just that. His aunt tells him, "Yes, around that time, this one was left here," and she shows him. "He's healthy, his skin is white like yours, they won't even notice, we'll swap them and say this one died of SIDS, and we'll put yours in his place in the crib and he'll get a nice funeral. The innocent one returned to the Lord without sin." However, although they keep the matter secret from everyone, the young bride, even before the plan was made, cried her sorrows to her mother, who then told her husband. So, the four of them know about it.

Then, when the parents bring the child home, they are surprised to see that this is the same child they left on the doorstep. The young bride is very happy, "Bird, bird," she keeps saying. "Child, child, who cares if it's not ours, at least we have something, we won't be shamed that this happened to us, and the neighbors might even say that I didn't pay enough attention to him, that's why he died." The whole family is happy. However, when the grandparents see him, they can't hide their shock that they adopted that very child. The young groom notices this and, since he's not stupid, he eventually figures out what's going on. One day, when they're alone, he confronts his mother-in-law, asking, "What's going on?" She confesses everything, but on the condition that he never tells his wife, not even after her death, because she doesn't want her daughter to remember her that way. Anyway, she says, it was just a momentary lapse of reason, you were in on it too, you're also guilty, it didn't take six oxen to pull you onto my youthful body.

Once upon a time, there were two teenagers. They got together and had a good time. Every week they went out to socialize with their friends and buddies. They didn't even meet during the week because they went to different schools in different cities. One week, they were partying at a disco. When they were going home, the girl said, "I won't be free next week, I'm going skiing in the Tatra Mountains with my parents." The boy was a little suspicious. "Why is she telling me now? We were together yesterday, didn't it occur to her then?" And when he was queuing for the coats, he saw his girlfriend talking to another guy. "Anyway, that's how it is," he thought, "why would she lie? If she has to go, let her go, I'm not her mother, I can't forbid her. It's not bad if I don't party for a weekend because I'll detox at least, and I need to study, I'll fail technical drawing if I don't perform."

So they only meet two weeks later. However, one of the boy's friends says he thinks he saw his girlfriend at a bar over the weekend. But he was drunk, so he's not entirely sure. He says, "Maybe she wasn't in the Tatras after all, because she was having an exciting conversation with another guy, and the guy's hand was resting on her ass." Anyway, he confronts her, "They saw you at the club, why did you lie to me, and they say some kid was groping you too." The girl doesn't deny it. The boy, bitterly humiliated, asks, "How could you cheat on me?" The girl says: "So? It doesn't wear off from that!"

The Swapped Cradle